Matt's Weather Rapport is written by Vermont-based journalist and weather reporter Matt Sutkoski. This blog has a nationwide and worldwide focus, with particular interest in Vermont and the Northeast. Look to Matt's Weather Rapport for expert analysis of weather events, news, the latest on climate change science, fun stuff, and wild photos and videos of big weather events. Also check for my frequent quick weather updates on Twitter, @mattalltradesb
In the past couple of days, Tropical Storm Karen dissipated, and the internet loved it.
For those not familiar why this was so hilarious: A fictitious woman named Karen is an internet meme, and in some respects, Tropical Storm Karen acted like her namesake.
"Karen has been the internet's stock female antagonist: A righteously annoyed middle-age white woman who loves coupons, reverse mullet bobs, and, above all else, speaking with the manager."
Yeah, you know the type.
As HuffPost reports, our fictitious Karen is pretty hapless, and so was Tropical Storm Karen. Which means weather geeks and others couldn't resist.
People on Friday really jumped on what was meant to be just a serious, normal update from Joel Franco (@OfficialJoelF): "Karen is a tropical depression and could fall apart 'at any time,' according to the NHC. Not expected to get very far."
You can guess now that went. Karen is not going to get anywhere with the manager, and she's going to have a meltdown because of it
"Makes me a little sad, I was kind of rooting for Karen. I thought maybe she would make it rain Pumpkin Spice Lattes and Bed Bath & Beyond coupons and I could use some new pillowcases tbh. I think it would be nice if store managers could honor her memory with a 'Ma'am'"
I still worry that managers everywhere might still feel the wrath of Karen: "Every manager in harm's way, lock your doors now!" one person warned on social media.
Meanwhile, I noticed yesterday that Hurricane Lorenzo was keeping its distance from Karen on the opposite side of the Atlantic Ocean. True to his rather studmuffin name, Lorenzo was the strongest hurricane on record yesterday for a storm in the far eastern Atlantic.
I could we why he was so far away from Karen. Karen really isn't Lorenzo's type.
It has snowed a LOT in Minnesota this winter. There's TONS of snow on the ground. People have had enough.
People like Hennepin County 4th District Judge Kevin Burke, who issued a restraining order against "Minnesota meteorologists, Old Man Winter and Mr. Snow."
Don't worry, the filing was issued tongue-in-cheek. Winter hasn't driven Judge Burke to the looney bin, at least not yet. (It is supposed to snow in parts of Minnesota again later this week, so stay tuned.)
According to the Fox9 KSMP News in Minneapolis, Judge Burke ruled:
"This order is issued because there is compelling evidence in the record that Minnesota Meteorlogists have conspired with the other defendants to increase television and radio ratings. Who, for example, would watch the weather in Hawaii, where it is always nice?"
Judge Burke laid out his legal logic, in part, thusly:
"Minnesotans are hardy people. They enjoy their winters and have a good relationship with the Defendants. But there comes a point when the trust between the parties is ruptured. The Defendents have a fiduciary duty to the Plantiffs not to overdo it."
Lots of snow in Mankato, Minnesota this weekend.
As evidence the judge cited a Star-Tribune columnist who complained of 15-foot snow piles next to his driveway.
Residents of other hard-hit parts of the upper Midwest are out of luck, despite the judge's restraining order.
Judge Burke wrote in his decision: "This does not prohibit the Defendants from continuing their exploits in Wisconsin, Iowa, South Dakota and North Dakota."
In fact, for some reason, the judge said the defendants can particularly unleash their wrath on the fair city of Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Personally, I think a counterclaim is brewing from Wisconsin.
I get it that weather warnings and watches from the National Weather Service are serious, but all I could think of when I saw this map Tuesday evening was a dinosaur pooping on central Texxas. Yes, I'm a bad, bad person.
The home page features a color-coded map of the entire United States, and shows all the weather warnings, watches, alerts and statements in every county in the nation.
The map is color coded, so you can easily pick out the flood watches, winter weather alerts, severe thunderstorm statements, etc.
Last evening, a large area from northeast Texas to central Illinois was under a flood watch, depicted in dark green. Meanwhile, west-central Texas was under a severe thunderstorm watch, depicted in purple, with a couple of severe weather warnings and statements showing up in the middle of that purple in the colors orange and beige.
Serious stuff, yes. But all I could think of when I saw that map was a dinosaur pooping on west-central Texas.
You can see it in the photo in this post. And yes, I'm a bad, bad, childlike person who should feel ashamed.
You get a mix of emotions when there's an enormous storm about to hit any part of the country.
The most important piece is, and I hate to say it, people are going to die in this. No question about it.
Some might succumb to potential tornadoes this evening. People might die in traffic accidents on icy roads. Maybe a tree will fall on a house in a North Carolina ice storm tomorrow, killing someone in a bedroom.
Maybe somebody will have a heart attack shoveling snow. Or a snow-clogged vent will poison somebody with carbon dioxide. A coastal flood surge might drown somebody, or give them a fatal case of hypothermia as they get soaked in the towering waves on the Jersey shore.
I'm being morbid here, I admit. All but a handful of the tens of millions of people affected by this storm and blizzard will be just fine, and they'll have fun stories to tell to their grandkids.
Luckily, with ever big snowstorm or blizzard we get a good sense of gallows humor.
Still, even weather weenies like me, who live in a spot that will suffer absolutely no effects from this storm, get a little shiver of excitement at big storms like this. (I live in sunny northwestern Vermont, where not so much as one snowflake will come down from this big storm.)
Which means you do get a little pang of guilt over the thrill of a storm, knowing that this thing could really hurt somebody.
Like people at a wake or a funeral, sometimes we resort to humor to deal with this jumble of emotions. Yes, this isn't nearly as fraught as losing a close relative or friend, but the idea is the same.
There's lots of humor floating around this storm. Much of it is recycled from past storms, but that's OK. You also want the familiar along with the laughs.
The ever-reliable Onionoffers us a whole laundry list of tips to "survive" the blizzard.
Among The Onion's tips: Purchase a CB radio to maintain lines of communication with other lunatics in your neighborhood; steer wildly when you hit the first patch of ice while driving; be one of those idiots who buys all the bottled water at the supermarket; and most importantly, criticize your mayor.
It has all the drama a fed-up teacher deals with in anticipating a snow day, as almost every school on the East Coast south of New England is experiencing.
The video is coming up, but sample lyrics:
"We need a snow day tomorrow At least a good delay."
And:
"I love it when I get the call and I don't have to work at all."
And:
"If it's going to be this cold the least it could do is snow. If I have to keep my students inside one more time for recess I will lose my mind"
Here's the video. But scroll down beneath the video for the latest news and updates about the storm:
STORM NEWS UPDATE
You just saw drama, or melodrama at least, in the above video, but the drama of the storm has certainly gotten going this Thursday afternoon and evening.
As expected, severe weather has developed in Louisiana and Mississippi, and it's spreading east. There have been a few tornado warnings this afternoon, but I haven't seen a confirmed tornado report yet. That could easily change.
As I write this at 5:30 p.m. EST, there were a few tornado warnings in central Mississippi, so this is definitely a developing story.
I'm very struck by the extremely close between the adjacent tornado watchand winter storm warningin northern Mississippi and Louisiana. That's a sure sign of a dynamic, rare, and awfully intense winter storm.
States of emergency have been declared in Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia and North Carolina as the storm bears down tomorrow.
Winter storm and blizzard warnings covered a huge section of the nation Thursday evening (pini and red areas) The yellow area is a tornado watch.
If anything, forecasts of snow accumulation have increased today from North Carolina to New York City.
In some places, like Asheville, North Carolina, parts of Virginia and Maryland, this storm might exceed the levels of the thought-to-be impossible-to-beat Superstorm of March, 1993.
There is even serious talk in some areas of snow thunderstorms with accumulation rates of up to five inches per hour. That is INSANE!
An incredibly enormous area of blizzard warnings, blizzard watches and winter storm warnings extends from Arkansas to Long Island, and from southern Ohio to northern Georgia. That is One. Big. Area.
Other than that, the forecast hasn't changed much. We're still expecting a terrible ice storm in North Carolina, at least for the areas that won't totally get buried in snow. Coastal flooding is an enormous concern from North Carolina to Long Island.
A measure of the concern comes from Hoboken, New Jersey, where coastal flood barriers were put in place today. That only happens in the most serious storms.
So, hunker down everyone in the storm zone! For most of you, it will be a wild, fun ride, as long as you stay safe. And preferably indoors.
Buzzfeed responded by releasing a video that shows how Angelenos respond to rare instances when it rains. Lots of commenters say the video is pretty accurate.
Love the panic in this video over - get this- a dangerous quarter inch of rain!!
St. John', Newfoundland meteorologist Ryan Snodden
being arrested for trafficking in lousy
summer weather this year in that part of Canada.
The weather has been totally lousy this month in Newfoundland. Unless, of course, you like midsummer fog, drizzle, gloom and chill.
Newfoundland and Labrador are obviously not known for their delightful weather, what with their everlasting frigid and stormy winters that make New England look like a tropical paradise. S
till, it can get nice this time of year in Newfoundland. Just not this year.
It's been so bad a local meteorologist was arrested for not delivering summer weather, says USA Today.
Don't worry, not really. It was a stunt. People are just finding ways to release their frustration over Newfoundland's Summer That's Not.
You can see the video of the arrest of one of the meteorologists at the bottom of this post. It's really awesome.
It started with a missing persons report of sorts from the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary.
Their press release said:
"Summer was last seen in early August of 2014. When last seen, summer was described as being between 20-30 degrees Celius (68-86 degrees Fahrenheit) blue skies with a bright and warm source of light in the sky. There have been sporadic sightings of this bright object, but these sightings have been rare since May 2015."
Then came the arrests of two meteorologists in St. John's Newfoundland for aiding and abetting the foul summer weather, specifically the rain, drizzle and fog, known in the area as RDF, reports USA Today, which by the way is headquarted in hot, very steamy Virginia.
Ryan Snodden of the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. local affiliate in St. John's and Eddie Scheerr of NTV were both taken into "custody" by authorities.
Police spokesman Steven Curnew said Snodden was "charged with impersonating a meteorologist, failing to provide the essentials of summer - that being sunshine, good forecasts and blue skies. - and we also have him on trafficking of RDF."
Scheerr is a United States citizen and could be deported from Canada, local police joked. "Unfortunately, due to the weather, it could be two weeks before we could get a flight out of St. John's Airport."
In the short term, things don't look like they'll improve much. This weekend's forecast from Environment Canada features showers and drizzle both Saturday and Sunday in St. John's with high temperatures of around 11 or 12 Celcius. That's only the low to mid 50s Fahrenheit. Brrrr!!
As the video in this post shows, some people manage winter worse than others.
If you're in New England, you might want to take the nine minutes to watch the video, in order to distract you from your sore back from shoveling, the lack of a view out your window because of the snowbanks pressed against it, and from the lack of hope that spring will ever arrive.
A couple of observations about the video before we get into it:
People really don't have much of an appreciation for thin ice, do they?
I feel really sorry for the pig on ice you see in the video. And for the toddler in the pink snowsuit who discovers ice, and then its drawbacks.
And I really feel sorry for the guy in front of the brick building, around seven minutes in, who tries to get out of his car.
For your viewing pleasure, here's what's wrong with winter:
Watch and see in the video, below, if this woman has HAD IT with winter. Add caption
New England seems to be the Big Winter Winner this year.
Lots of cold. Lots of snow, at least lately, and it ain't going to end soon.
It snowed today. It'll be brutally cold this weekend, there's the risk of another big snowstorm in southern New England Monday, and then even more brutally cold weather, worse than we've gotten so far this winter, is on its way for Tuesday and Wednesday.
I'm freezing my butt off. I've slipped on the ice more times than I care to count, I'm coming down with a cold, and the house is chilly because I don't feel like paying a zillion dollars to keep it warm enough.
I know, I know, whine, moan, complain, why don't you move to someplace warm?
You're right, but there comes a point, right about now in the winter, when some of us have Just. About. Had. It. The winter breaking point.
Even seasonably cold weather in the 20s would be beautiful. Spring greenery would be nicer. I spent half of this afternoon simultaneously watching temperatures plummet outside my window and drooling longingly over spring gardening catalogs.
For now, I, and a lot of you, can relate to this video. She should have lashed out harder, though. Watch and see what you think:
Judging from the graphic on the weather report during a WGRZnewscast in Buffalo, New York, the forecast indicated some pretty ho-hum weather for the following few days.
The VERY happy WGRZ weatherman Andy Parker
But weatherman Andy Parker was amused. Either by the boring weather or something (presumably) hilarious somebody said off camera.
The giggles, however, were in the Catagory 5 zone, and I wonder if any viewer actually figured out whether they should take an umbrellla with them or not.
One day last week, weatherman Gary Sadowski at WCAX-TV in Burlington, Vermont sensed viewers were sick of the daily grind of waking up to see more subzero cold. Bundle up!
Temperatures Thursday morning in northern Vermont New Hampshire and New York. The numbers are correct. This is just in the Kelvin temperature scale.
Sadowski solved the problem by just going to a different, warmer looking temperature scale.
So, Thursday morning, it was 252 in Burlington, Vermont, 246 in Morrisville, Vermont and a cooler, more comfortable 241 degrees in Saranac Lake, N.Y.
Such big numbers on the Kelvin scale might have warmed viewers a bit.
But of course people got a cold slap of reality when they stepped out their doors after watching Sadowski's weather forecast. In the more familiar Fahrenheit scale, it was 6 below in Burlington, minus 17 in Morrisville, and a numbing 26 below in Saranac Lake.
Let's hope Sadowski doesn't resort to the Kelvin scale in the heat of summer. He'll really make us fee roasted. That's because 95 degrees Fahrenheit is 308 degrees on the Kelvin scale.
Weather geeks like me like to look at something called the National Weather Service forecast discussions to better understand the reasoning behind why the predictions came out the way they did.
A frigid January view of Chicago. Even the National Weather Service there is crying uncle about this winter. Photo by Jim Young/Reuters.
The forecast discussions are available to the general public but that's not the intended audience.
The discussions are usually dry, not terribly engaging texts full of scientific terms, murky abbreviations and generally quite un-poetic prose.
NAM...BTV-4KM AND 12KM WRF DO SHOW AN
INCREASE IN PRECIPITATION COVERAGE ACROSS VERMONT AROUND
18Z...LASTING THRU THIS EVENING. NO SIGNIFICANT CHANGES OTHER THAN
TO LOWER POPS/QPF A BIT ACROSS NRN NY. OVERALL LOOKING AT 0.10 TO
0.15" ACROSS VT AND < 0.10" ACROSS NRN NY.
Yeah, I know. Most people don't get that. I eat it up, but I'm strange. Weather geek, you understand.
So it's always cool when whoever writes these forecast discussions have a little fun. In Chicago, the National Weather Service yesterday humorously addressed the general groaning and gnashing of teeth in describing how a thaw would be short-lived, and rough winter weather would return:
GIVEN OUR TRACK RECORD
FOR SNOWING ON SATURDAY`S LATELY...THE WISE BET MIGHT BE FOR
MEASURABLE SNOW ON SATURDAY! FOR ANYONE WHO MAY CATCH A TOUCH OF
SPRING FEVER WITH THE RELATIVE WARMTH OF THURSDAY...FORGETABOUTIT!
ECMWF/GFS BOTH PAINT SUCH A BLEAK...DISMAL...COLD...AND
POTENTIALLY SNOWY PICTURE NEXT WEEK THAT ITS LIKELY TO LEAVE MANY
WINTER WEARY SOULS READY TO CURL UP INTO THE FETAL POSITION AND
BEG FOR MERCY FROM OLD MAN WINTER!
Fetal positions aren't terribly scientific, but such a thing is perfectly understandable given the kind of winter much of the nation has had.
I found myself nodding in laughing agreement as I read a parody of the winter storm watch that's now in effect for Washington DC.
It's time for humorous parodies of winter weather
alerts in Washington DC.
It appeared in the Washington City Paper. I also love it that the text is in the same font as an official National Weather Service statement, which I'm unable to effectively reproduce here.
"A winter storm watch... which is in effect starting Wednesday will immediately lead to a halt in the area's functionality.
* IF THE SNOW APPEARS TO BE STICKING, SOCIAL
MEDIA-SAVVY D.C. RESIDENTS WILL ORGANIZE A
SNOWBALL FIGHT IN DUPONT CIRCLE OR NEAR U
STREET NW. A COP MAY SHOW UP WITH A GUN.
* ACCUMULATION OF MORE THAN THREE INCHES MAY
CAUSE NATIVES OF MORE NORTHERN CITIES TO
COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW D.C. HANDLES THE SNOW.
THESE PEOPLE SHOULD MOSTLY BE IGNORED.
*100 PERCENT OF AREA RESTAURANTS ARE EXPECTED TO CAPITALIZE ON THE STORM, MANY OFFERING DARK AND STORMY COCKTAILS ON THE CHEAP. RESIDENTS WHO DO NOT MAKE IT TO WORK BECAUSE OF TREACHEROUS COMMUTING CONDITIONS WILL STILL MAKE IT TO HAPPY HOUR.
I've decided to add my own Vermont Winter Storm Watch in case the storm makes it this far north. (Which is still iffy) I can'd do the National Weather Service font, but oh well. Here goes my version of a Winter Weather Warning Statement:
"The National Weather Service has issued a Winter Storm Watch in Vermont. Snow is expected to begin Thursday and continue Thursday night into Friday. Screams of "Powder Day!!!" from Vermonters are expected to accompany the heavy snow. The snow is expected to mix with scattered idiotic drivers on Interstate 89 during the storm, especially during the morning and late afternoon commutes. The fast-moving idiots, coming mostly in the form of SUVs, will cause traffic delays, bent fenders and derisive laughter as people mock the upside down SUVs in snowbanks. Also in effect is a Tow Advisory to continue into Saturday as people leave their cars on the streets despite winter parking bans. Scattered cursing and arguing will occur during the Tow Advisory. There is even a chance of a thrown punch during the Tow Advisory period. The National Weather Service has also issued a Sledding Hill Congestion Watch through Sunday as heavy sledding and tobogganing is expected to develop this week. The areas most threatened with sledding hill congestion are areas near schools closed by the snowy weather, where children will gather to play, proving they could have made it to classes after all. Additionally, a Clueless, Rude Out of State Skier Watch is in effect through the next week at least. There is a risk that some out of state visitors might travel on the wrong side of the road, text while zooming down a ski slope and yell at a hapless waitress because the restaurant is out of Stoli O. Vermonters are urged to exercise caution and patience during the Clueless, Rude Out of State Skier Watch period. Finally, a seed catalog greenery advisory is in effect through March. Winter weary Vermonters might start drooling over the lush plants pictured in the seed catalogs now appearing in Vermont mailboxes. Slick spots due to gardeners' drooling over the pictures are likely.
