Spring Sprouts, Tornado Joggers and Googly Eyes. A Few Notes

Look very closely  and you can see daffodil shoots trying to
emerge from the soil next to the retreating ice on Thursday
in my St. Albans, Vermont gardens. 

It's been a relatively warm week for early March in Vermont. The snow is retreating the sap is running and it feels like spring might get here. Eventually.

True, it's going to be on the cold side tonight and Saturday and we surely have more cold spells and snowfalls to come. But we've made a little progress.

It's hard to see in the accompanying pboto, but I spotted such progress in my yard amid the Thursday afternoon sunshine.

Next to the retreating ice in one of my garden beds, the first hint of daffodil shoots appeared.  It's not much, but a guy looking forward to spring will take anything he can get.

I don't anticipate anything blooming until April.  Still, it was nice to see something green, however tiny, instead of the shades of white, gray, black and brown we've been limited to since November.

Daffodil shoots are tough, so I'm not too worried about what will happen in cold weather. Today, a  huge nor'easter that's developing well off the New England coast today but it will miss us. The storm will throw a brief shot of gusty winds and chilly air at us, but nothing odd for early March.  It'll warm up again Sunday afternoon.

Given that the weather is relatively quiet, here's a couple other odd, unrelated things I've noticed recently, including an odd jogger and a googly-eyed TV reporter in a snowstorm:

THE TORNADO JOGGER

As soon as those awful tornados in Tennessee passed early Tuesday, first responders, as always, swooped in and did their best to help.

This brief video is a little strange. It shows firefighters arriving in a tornado-battered Nashville neighborhood. The power was out, and you could see little in the darkness.  But in firetruck headlights and firefighters' head lamps, you could see downed power lines, glimpses of debris and hints of chaos.

As the firefighters started heading into the neighborhood, presumably to pull people from the wreckage, a female jogger zips on by.

No, she's not running from the wreckage. Nothing, not even a tornado, complete darkness, debris and possibly live downed wires is going to interrupt her odd 1:30 a.m. running routine.  I love the look on the face of the firefighter at the end of this brief video:



SNOWSTORM REPORTER'S MANY FACES

In late February, a snowfall hit Asheville, North Carolina,  Justin Hinton, a reporter for television station WLOS was out in the snow, giving a live update for viewers via Facebook Live.

He said he somehow activated some sort of Facebook filter and this is what viewers saw as Hinton gave his report.

All The Stupid Complaints About Meterologists In One Handy Video

This dude plays the archetypal dumb cluck who says all
the dumbest things to meteorologists in a worthwhile video.

I'm not a meteorologist. Just a weather geek. I definitely have training in meteorology, but didn't go the full distance to get a degree in it.

I'm not super great at more advanced math, which a meteorology degree requires, so I went with a journalism degree.

Basically, that means I'm not smart enough to be a full-blown meteorologist, pardon the punny weather reference there.

Meteorologists are really, really smart. However, arguably more than any other profession, they have to put up with an awful lot of outspoken stupidity raining down on them. (There I go again.)

Not all meteorologists are on TV, but they are the ones who constantly get harassed about their wardrobe. As if that aspect of a weather person is the most important. Female meteorologists seem to be most targeted here.   As if the most important thing about a televised tornado warning is the color dress the person delivering said warning is wearing.

Speaking of which, people always complain when regular programming is interrupted by a tornado or some other severe weather warning. The warning might not be for a location close to you, so you scream that the warning interrupted a critical moment of "Wheel Of Fortune."

You really don't care if the TV meteorologist is trying to save lives eight counties over. "Wheel Of Fortune" is so much more important, right?

Then the meteorologists get dinged for a slightly inaccurate forecast, or the forecast is accurate but people don't understand what a 30 percent chance of showers means. Crackpot tinfoil hat-wearing onspiracy theorists are angry because meteorologists know chemtrails are bullshit fiction. People would rather believe some Russian bot on the internet than a real, live scientist, I guess.

Anyway, rant over. This rant will continue in this entertaining and what meteorologists would say is a way-too-familiar scenario in this video:

Here's One Way To Travel Across A Lake In The Winter

A guy in Maine wanted to get across a frozen lake.

It didn't take much effort. He just opened an umbrella, and let the wind propel him across the slippery ice on the frozen lake. The man in the video claims he traveled three miles this way.

Looks fun. Watch:

Winter Karma Hits Snowman Vandals

Somebody drive a truck into this nine-foot tall snowman in Kentucky,
hoping to topple it, but they didn't realize there was a giant
tree stump hidden under it. Somebody has a wrecked truck now. 

Earlier this month, some people in Kentucky celebrated a bout of winter weather by building an eight-foot tall snowman and named it Frosty.

Some idiot decided it would be fun to wreck it by driving their truck into it, says television station WLWT. 

Little did the pickup truck driver know, but the couple who built the snowman supported its base with a huge tree stump. The stump was hidden beneath the snow at Frosty's base.

The result, of course, was karma.

The people who live in the house where Frosty was came home from work to find tire tracks leading to the snowman. The stump beneath Frosty exposed, with an imprint of a bumper stuck into the remaining snow. Plus, Frosty remained standing, tall and proud.

There was surely damage to the pickup truck, but nobody knows who's it is.

Bizarro Story From Infowars On Hurricane Lane

These nutjobs on Infowars tell us that John Kerry fired an energy
beam from Antarctica that split Hurricane Lane in two.
Credit them for imagination! 

An energy beam fired from Antarctica, probably by John Kerry, split Hurricane Lane in two while it was near Hawaii last week.

Obviously, that isn't true, but the nutjobs at Infowars obviously think it happened. Infowars, for the unitiated, is a strange conspiracy theory "news" site run by performance artist/crazy man Alex Jones.

Even more strangely, lots of people believe this garbage. Hate to say it, but it appears most of the people who believe in this garbage are Trump partisans.

Here's how I think they came up with this energy beam theory. At one point, a large blob of thunderstorms developed just to the east of Hurricane Lane. On satellite photos, it looked like there were suddently two powerful storms near Hawaii.

The Infowars guys in their video showed what appeared to be an infared satellite image of moisture flow around the world. There briefly appears to be some moisture, or a lack of it, coming out of Antarctica. I'm not sure if it was a glitch, or just air flow coming up from Antarctica northbound near Chile, but there you go.

An energy beam!

Well, actually, it was just the natural flow of moisture in the atmosphere, but that's not exciting enough for the Infowar guys.

After some verbiage concerning China and its aggressions in the South China Sea or something like that, the two people on Infowars conclude former Secretary of State John Kerry is somehow behind it.

Kerry visited Antarctica two years ago. That's a true fact. Somehow, these people in Infowars said that because Kerry once visited Antarctica, he returned and fired that energy beam.

The fact that Kerry visited Antarctica very soon after the 2016 elections somehow makes everything suspicious. How the hell do they come up with this crap?  Anyway, this is what the Infowars host Owen Shroyer said:

"Yeah, why is John Kerry going down to Antarctica just a week after the election to discuss climate hange and then you have energy beams coming out of Antarctica splitting hurricanes?"

How Shroyer connects these two things I'll never know.

"What is John Kerry doing down there? That's awfully suspicious to me," Shroyer said. Never mind there's no indication Kerry visited Antarctica this week. But never mind. Shroyer informs us that the FBI should be investigated this instead of Trump collusion investigation.

That, Shroyer thinks, is a way, way over the top conspiracy theory. OK, whatever.

For his part, Kerry tweeted: "The secret's out - busted."

Oh, that Tweet will send the Infowars nutjobs into a tizzy!

In a reply to Kerry someone jokingly tweeted: "I always said don't trust @JohnKerry some day he's going to split a giant hurricane that's threatening Hawaii in two using some sort of beam fired from Antarctica and everyone laughed at me. Who's laughing now though?"

Another tweet scolded Kerry:

"John, I thought we agreed that you would stop doing that. I fear it's becoming more than a habit - its on the verge of an addiction. Have you considered Giant Laserbeam Zappers Anonymous?"

We'll just have to watch and see. More hurricanes will form in the coming weeks. Will John Kerry zap those, too? We'll have to wait and see.

TV Meteorologist Rick Rolled By The Original Rick Roller

Canadian meteorologist Brandon Gonez, left, seemed delighted to be Rick
Rolled on air. It helped that the actual Rick Astley came on set 

A "Rick Roll" is one of the oldest, and many would say most obnoxious internet memes.

For the uninitiated, getting Rick Rolled is when somebody sends you a link saying you MUST watch it because it's so incredible.

Then you open the link and instead of something you'd really go wow about, you get the music video of Rick Astley performing his 1987 hit "Never Gonna Give You Up."

So it was recently on a recent morning that meteorologist Brandon Gonez was going over the rather inclement weather that was plaguing Ontario and Quebec when the familiar strains of "Never Gonna Give You Up starting playing.

Even better: The actual, real live Rick Astley came on to the set to do a meteorological in person Rick Roll

So much for the lousy Canadian weather.  Gonez really did seem to appreciate the Rick Roll

Here's the clip:

My Five-Year-Old Type Brain Saw A Funny On A Weather Map

I admit it. I can be really, really immature. 

I get it that weather warnings and watches from the National Weather
Service are serious, but all I could think of when I saw this map
Tuesday evening was a dinosaur pooping on central Texxas.
Yes, I'm a bad, bad person. 

Which is why I laughed out loud last evening when I got to the home page of the National Weather Service. 

The home page features a color-coded map of the entire United States, and shows all the weather warnings, watches, alerts and statements in every county in the nation. 

The map is color coded, so you can easily pick out the flood watches, winter weather alerts, severe thunderstorm statements, etc. 

Last evening, a large area from northeast Texas to central Illinois was under a flood watch, depicted in dark green. Meanwhile, west-central Texas was under a severe thunderstorm watch, depicted in purple, with a couple of severe weather warnings and statements showing up in the middle of that purple in the colors orange and beige.

Serious stuff, yes. But all I could think of when I saw that map was a dinosaur pooping on west-central Texas. 

You can see it in the photo in this post. And yes, I'm a bad, bad, childlike person who should feel ashamed. 

But oh, well. 

Huge Nor'easter And Frigid Arctic Blast Obnoxiously Heated Up Climate Change Debate

Huge expanses of coastal New England ocean water froze over
during last week's record cold spell. The Arctic outbreak did not
prove or disprove climate change, but activists on either side
seized on this big time, facts be damned 

The long Arctic siege that gripped much of the eastern half of the country finally ended Sunday, and the cleanup is well underway from that super powerful nor'easter last week.

Although the Arctic wasteland spell is over, the heat that the cold blast generated in the climate change activist wars show few signs of abating, though.

The brutal stretch of winter weather proved to be a sort of climate Rorschach test of sorts between climate activists on one hand, the climate change denialists and skeptics on the other.

I think the climate change activists did have the intellectual upper hand in this latest battle, but there was still over the top claims on either side.

SILLY DENIALISTS

Surprise, surprise, Donald Trump was the most simplistic of the denialist bunch. We were barely one day into the Arctic siege when he declared global climate change a hoax. Hey, it was cold on the U.S. East Coast, so that's the only indicator of whether the world was hot or cold, right?

Yeah, or something like that. Trump is a real friggin'  climate scientist. (If you didn't notice, my snark font is on.)

Then there was the familiar trope that came roaring back along with the Arctic winds that activists had somehow "rebranded" global warming into climate change, so that they could allegedly blame every kind of weather on fossil fuel emissions.  Hey, now they're saying any weird weather is humans' fault! Silly climate activists! (Ugh.)

For instance, Rex Murphy in Canada's National Post had his sarcasm font on in full blast as he wrote about all those silly little people worried about global warming, er, climate change:

"During the most savage Hyperborean blasts and numbing cold even the little ones busy themselves with exercises to remind themselves of the truth of things. Children in schools hang up posters of the Amazon rainforest, check the temperature in Tanzania, have revivalist reruns of "An Inconvenient Truth" to keep the sense of global peril fresh in their anxious empty little heads."

Cripes, Murphy's prose is as purple as my frostbitten fingers were during the worst of the Arctic blast.

NUANCES, NUANCES, NUANCES

I suppose was a faint glimmer of a point in Murphy's rant about "branding."

Here's why I think that: A number of climate scientists and other activists during the winter siege pointed out that the extreme weather was "consistent" with climate change.

Notice the careful wording. They weren't drawing much of a direct line between the frigid weather pattern and climate change. The climate change crowd was more accurately saying the spell of weather was paradoxically "consistent." with global warming. No proof, but the weird weather pattern might, just might, have had something to do with climate change.

A few activists did flatly say that the cold wave and nor'easter were definitive signs of climate change. Those activists were wrong. A single weather event is proof of nothing. Weather is variable. A world that's overall warmer than it used to be can still have cold weather. It can still have winters. Life goes on, after all.

However, back to that careful working, and the crux of why I said Murphy had a slight point about branding.

The basic science of climate change is simple: Put more carbon dioxide in the air, and more of the sun's heat gets trapped in that atmosphere. So all things being equal, the world warms up.

Then mix in all the nuances of the many ways climate change can affect how things are where you live. And then consider the  million different ways it can affect conditions at all other points of the world. On top of that, add in the complexities that exists with or without global warming. Examples include local effects, natural ocean and air circulation cycles, and factors we might not even know about yet.

Which means you get the simple, if incorrect arguments: "It's cold out where we are, therefore there's no global warming." say the climate denial crowd.

That, versus the scientists: "The weather pattern we are in is consistent with climate change, but it's hard to blame one weather event on climate change. Plus, there are many factors involved that may or not be influenced by climate change, and scientists are still studying these aspects. Melting sea ice in the Arctic might be screwing around with the jet stream and might be bending it in ways that make these Arctic outbreaks in the eastern United States. However, there are winters that aren't so cold because..........."

See the problem? Us humans crave simple explanations for what's going on around us. I know I do. Explanations of how climate change might be affecting us are often not simple at all. We tune out. That's why Donald Trump's tweet got so much attention. It was a simple if wrong sales/con job. He's a great marketer. Simple messages sell.

It's hard to market climate change in ways the public easily understands.

Under climate change, weather extremes will probably continue to get, well, more extreme. You get into the weeds arguing with climate deniers and skeptics on this point, too.

One example is Accuweather Meteorologist Joe Bastardi, among others. Now, I respect Bastardi as a talented meteorologist. He's one smart cookie, and my snark font is definitely OFF when I say that. Where I have a problem with Bastardi is his climate change skepticism. He's not a denialist, but he is very skeptical.   His argument often goes as follows:

Yes, the weather here is exceptionally cold/hot/wet/dry/windy ---- whatever, but it's happened before, so there's nothing going on that's out of the ordinary so there's no human caused climate change. (I'm oversimplifying his argument a bit here.)

And of course, Bastardi is right on one aspect of his argument. There have been cold snaps as bad or worse than the one we just had. There have been nor'easters as bad or worse than the one that socked New England and Atlantic Canada last week. There have been bigger heat waves than the ones that we've had in recent years. All these historic weather events happened without human-induced global warming.

However, Bastardi is missing the most on point of these questions.

Of course these weather patterns have happened before. But are they becoming more frequent than they used to, and if so, why? Are floods getting more frequent and worse in some parts ofthe country than decades ago? Are weather patterns that cause these long lasting cold outbreaks like the one we just had happening more often? again, f so, why? Those are the pertinent questions here.

I'm not sure I have the answer to these questions, but those queries are the ones most worth examining.

Another trope among denialists is to try and discredit all science, as way of trying to convince the public to not believe anything based on scientific fact.

For instance, on Sunday, the climate denial site Watts Up With That mocked NOAA for a winter forecast they put out last fall that said chances were greater than even that the southern and eastern United States would, overall, have a warmer than average winter.

Watts Up With That crowed about the cold weather in the East and parts of the South. Never mind that the winter is less than half over, and, despite the cold spell, these areas could, on the whole, have a milder than average winter. (Notice the January thaw that's now creeping into many of these areas.)

As many, including, to his credit, Bastardi pointed out, it's possible we could have warm weather the rest of the winter, which would make the season a bit on the mild side. We just don't know yet.

NOR'EASTER AS CLIMATE POSTER CHILD

The nor'easter that struck the U.S. and Canada east coasts last weekend strengthened at almost a record pace, and brought near record and even record storm surges to many coastal communities in New England and Canada, especially in Massachusetts.

Waves and coastal flooding batter Scituate, Massachusetts during
last week's epic nor'easter. The storm was huge, and inflated the
arguments over climate change. But it was just one storm, so I'm
counseling that everybody relax. 

The denialists claimed that it was a bitter cold storm, so no global warming. Yeah, it was cold on the western side of the storm, over eastern North America.

But it was super warm on the eastern side of the storm, over the Atlantic Ocean. Nobody lives in the middle of the ocean though, so that warm side of the storm was ignored.

Meanwhile, the climate change activists were a little more careful, but still emphasized that the unusually high tides that flooded Boston and other communtiies were the hallmarks of climate change.

Climate change might have had an influence on all that high water, but it wasn't the principal reason for the flooding. The storm struck when astronomical tides were higher than average, due to the position of the moon.

The worst of the storm also struck just when high tide was scheduled to come in during the early afternoon Thursday. Bad timing, to say the least.

Sea levels have risen due to climate change over the past several decades. Which means climate change did add to the strength and height of the storm tide, It was probably worse than it would have been without climat echange, but it wasn't the main reason for it.

Again, nuance strikes again, and we humans have little patience for that.

This keeps going around and around of course. The always obnoxious Brietbart News, among others, tried to stake the claim that climatologists automatically blamed global warming on the first signs of heat waves last summer, but pooh-poohed the idea that a cold wave on one sliver the globe -namely the eastern U.S., canceled out global warming.

Of course, no reputable climatologists said any such thing.

As long as the denialists have allies in government, sustained by huge campaign contributions by the oil industry and conservative bazillonaires, the science, details and nuances will be as lost in the public discourse as the stuff that floated out to sea when the storm surge hit Scituate, Massachusetts last week.

There will be other exreme weather events. They'll come fast and furiously. (Witness the fatal flash floods, debris flows and mudslides in California on Tuesday)

If you are interested in climate change, and you should be, here's my advice: Don't listen to the shrill public false "debate" when there's a big storm. Seek out the experts, the sober scientists, the politicians that resist hype, the media outlets that don't have much of an agenda, but just want you to know what's really going on.

Doing all these things can be difficult.  But at least you'll know what's really going on. And maybe, just maybe, you'll retain your sanity.

Easy Target, But I Love How This TV Meteorologist Destroys Flat Earthers

TV Meteorologist Keith Carson has had it with the Flat-Earthers. 

Apparently, believing that the Earth is flat, not round is the latest Big Thing.

Meteorologist Keith Carson of television stations WCSH and WLBZ in Maine, recently went off for five minutes on why the Flat Earthers are wrong. The YouTube video of Carson's rant went viral.

At first, you wonder why Carson would go after such a weird, unsustainable theory like "the Earth is flat."

But it looks like he decided just to have fun, plus he objects to the Flat Earthers raising money from the gullible, money that could go for more worthwhile things like cancer research. The rapper B.o.B, for instance, is trying to raise money to launch rockets that he said would "prove" the Earth is flat.

Alrighty, then.

Carson starts with the fact there are zillions of photos taken from space that show a round Earth. All fake, say the flat earthers. By the way, they don't have a solid conspiracy theory that the government is trying to hide the "fact that the Earth is flat, Carson points out.

It's just that - this is convoluted, as these things are - this round Earth idea is to try to make people used to and enthusiastically support space travel while the government tries to militarize space, or something like that.

And the flat earthers don't blame NASA. They just think the fine folks at NASA are simply unaware the Earth is flat. Or as Carson snarkily puts it: "Poor NASA. So clueless."

Carson concludes his piece: "Find the edge of the Earth, lean backwards ad prove to me that gravity is just another big lie."

Here's Carson's video. Totally worth the view:

Nope, Hurricane Center Was Not Trolling President With Tropical Storm Don

Tropical Storm Don fizzled, but that's not a slam
against Donald Trump.

Some people make a lot of connections that aren't there.

Take the late, not so great Tropical Storm Don.  

As noted here, it formed Monday. Yesterday, the National Hurricane Center accurately described Tropical Storm Don as "small" and "not particularly well organized."

Which to many people meant that the National Hurricane Center intentionally named a wimpy storm Don to troll the president and then poke fun at him when the storm did not turn into a big monster.

Tropical Storm Don, by the way, has fizzled out as expected. 

The tweet storms involving the tropical storm and the president will probably continue full force for God knows how long.

Here are the facts: The World Meteorological Organization has committees that come up with the names of tropical systems all over the world, including in the Atlantic basin.

The same tropical storm and hurricane names rotate through, so you get the same names every five years. They come in alphabetical order. Don's first letter starts with "D, " the fourth letter in the alphabet.  It was the fourth tropical storm in the Atlantic this year.

Even though you normally get the same hurricane name every five years, the names of particularly destructive and memorable hurricanes are retired and replaced with new names. That's why you'll never see a Hurricane Katrina or Hurricane Sandy again.

Here's how Don got on the list: In 2005, Hurricane Dennis trashed the Florida panhandle. Dennis was then retired as a name. According to the Associated Press, because Dennis was an English male name, the World Meteorological Society allowed the United States to replace Dennis with another English male name.

Don was chosen. Max Mayfield, the former director of the National Hurricane Center, said nobody had anybody particular in mind when Don was chosen.

By the way, there have been other presidential hurricanes. In 1997, when Bill Clinton was president, there was a Hurricane Bill, which didn't amount to much and stayed far out to sea.

By the way, if the list of tropical storms gets up to the letter "H" in the eastern Pacific, it would become Tropical Storm or Hurricane Hilary.

So we would have been screwed on Twitter no matter who got elected president last November.

Some of the jokes on Twitter about this whole situation were kind of funny, though.

One tweet informed us: "Tropical Storm Don as formed in the Atlantic Ocean and we're predicting it will be spending some time at a NJ golf club by the weekend."

"Tropical Storm Don will tell you how much damage it will do and then fizzle out and blame Hurricane Hillary," said another tweet.

The bottom line is, some people might think President Trump is small and not well organized, but the fact that Tropical Storm Don had those characteristics was coincidental.

Westboro Baptist Church Weirdos To Picket National Weather Service Because Gays

Westboro Baptist Church has been reduced
to protesting at the National Weather Service 

Westboro Baptist Church is that tiny group of loonies from Kansas who noisily protest at all kinds of random events and places because that's what they do.

Their latest target is the National Weather Service, according to The Vane, the weather portion of the Gawker web site. 

Why, did it rain on one of their protests when the NWS forecasted clear skies?

Nope. It's not quite that simple. It never is with the Westboro loonies.

Here's part of their press release:

"Westboro Baptist Church will picket the National Weather Service to remind them that ONLY by God's mercy and power do you gather intelligence on His weather. The day comes when all weather rules, as you know them, will be gone. America crossed the Rubicon when by force of law, you permitted same sex marriage."

Yes, it's the gays. It's always the gays. I'm sure the gays caused the South Carolina floods, like they seem to cause all disasters.

I'm also unclear on why the National Weather Service shouldn't "gather intelligence" on "God's weather." I kinda want to know if God wants me to bring an umbrella with me today, and you'd think God would get the National Weather Service to tell me what to do.

Apparently, according to Westboro, God hates it when people predict the future. And of course the National Weather Service is ALWAYS in the habit of predicting the future.

Anyway, I do like how Westboro has renamed meteorologists. They said: "NOTE to weather reporting rebels: Nothing happens in this earth without the direct command of God. HE is sovereign of all!"

I'm sure God forecasts the weather better than any meteorologist on Earth, but I do approve of calling meteorologists "Weather Reporting Rebels." It just sounds cooler.

So, if you happen to be in Norman, Oklahoma on Thursday head on down to the National Weather Service office or the national Storm Prediction Center and check out the Westboro loonies.

Real Dicks At Accuweather Gave The Shaft To The East Coast This Week

The East Coast sure got dicked over by wet weather
on Tuesday, at least as shown by Accuweather.  

Hat tip to fellow weather geek Scoop Cronin for pointing, and I do mean pointing, out this weather forecast map for this past Tuesday for the East Coast.

As you can see, Accuweather accurately forecasted that Mother Nature gave the eastern United States the shaft with the weather on Tuesday. (Maybe she was wearing a strap-on?)

I particularly like the "heavy rain" near the tip of the, um, weather zone in New England. As a denizen of New England, I'm now REALLY glad it rained pretty hard that day and nothing else came out of the sky, if you catch my drift.

I can understand why the map makers at Accuweather drew Tuesday's forecast map the way they did. I'm always aroused by big storms and loud thunderstorms. Maybe just not aroused the way the people at Accuweather were that day.

The news crew at WGN in Chicago really turned into 6th graders with the weather map, as you can see in the video below:

Silliness: TV Meteorologist Channels Taylor Swift

A Washington DC gave a very Taylor Swiftian
forecast in anticipation of her concer
last week in the nation's Capitol.  

Taylor Swift had her big outdoor concert last week in Washington DC, and there was some question as to whether the rain would hold off.

Meteorologist Mike Thomas of Fox 5 in Washington had the scoop on the Taylor Swift concert weather forecast.

He channeled Swift to give his predictions.

I don't know whether you'll groan or laugh, but here is it forecast (which, by the way, proved accurate. The rain stayed away):

Sarah Palin Solves California Drought!

Sarah Palin will cure California drought!   

As readers of this blog well know, California is going through a multi-year, punishing drought in which there are severe water restrictions and all kinds of dire things that happen with a drought.

But it's Sarah Palin to the rescue!!!

She just doesn't understand why Governor Jerry Brown has imposed water restrictions, or as she put it, "His main target are (sic) those really nice landscapes and lawns on golf courses and campuses and cemeteries and private property, your yards!"

Yes, Jerry Brown hates green, lush lawns apparently. He's not motivated by drought, he's motivated by his hatred of greenery! Or something like that.

Anyway, here's Sarah's brilliant drought busting idea:

"You might ask, though, why don't they just fix the infrastucture problem, why don't they just build more reservoirs and plants? After all, Califonria is a coastal state. It's got a whole ocean right there, water all around ya."

Duh! Why didn't I think of that? Or Jerry Brown?

Of course, there are naysayers. The Chicago Sun Times points out that you can build dams, but if there's no water flowing in, you won't get a reservoir behind the dam. No water, no lake.

Palin says the reason for no desalination plants is because those evil environmentalists hate good things and say the waste generated by the plants, and the huge amounts of energy they use is bad. So you should just suffer.

Well, it's true that desalination plants are energy hogs and have environmental costs, but SF Gate says hat there are already at least 17 desalination plants in planning stages in California.

Oh, by the way, desalination plants cost between $150 million and $1 billion each to build, so there's the little matter of money.

Maybe Palin can donate the $99.99 people pay for each subscription to Palin's television channel to build those desalination plants and empty reservoirs.

TV Meteorologist In MInnesota Has Serious Hangups

Minneapolis television station Fox 9 meteorologist Steve Frazier was about to launch into his morning forecast when he started figeting.

His suit didn't feel right. 

Then he discovered the problem. He'd left the hanger on his jacket.  The anchors on the news desk were not impressed.

Watch the hilarity here:

Despite U.S. Senate Snowball, Global Warming Might Be Ready To Intensify

U.S. Sen. James Inhofe, with a snow ball,  which was taking
its chances in hell, also known as the U.S. Senate Chamber.  

I've been focusing on the extreme winter weather in the Northeast, but there's news, as there always seems to be on the global warming front.

I'll dispense with the frivolous first. On the Senate floor in the U.S. Capitol Thursday, U.S. Sen. James Inhofe, R-Oklahoma tossed a snowball.   

That was all to prove his contention that global warming is a hoax, apparently.

It snowed in Washington Thursday. I know.  Imagine! Snow in Washington DC. In February!  Washington is obviously the center of Inhofe's universe. If it's the center of his universe, and it's cold there on a particular day, then global warming doesn't exist.

By Inhofe's logic, if his home state of Oklahoma has a day that gets up to 100 degrees this July, then global warming must be raging out of control. Of course I doubt Inhofe will say that on some torrid summer afternoon.

Of course one chilly day in Washington and one steamy day in Oklahoma say absolutely nothing about global warming, but that's totally besides the fact. Washington DC, as we all well know, doesn't run on logic.

I'm sure that Inhofe really doesn't believe he was disproving global climate change with his snowball. He was just having a bit of fun, and trolling people who are worried about climate change.

This past week, some scientists said we have new reasons to worry about climate change. The pace of it might be getting ready to increase.

Climate change deniers have said repeatedly that the world stopped warming at around 1998, so the whole thing is a hoax, according to them. Global warming, say the contrarians, has paused.

Actually, the world has kept warming since 1998. Most climate watchers say the hottest year in modern record was just last year - 2014. Some climate scientists I read regard the so-called global warming pause as the "faux pause."

However, there's absolutely no mistaking that the pace at which global temperatures have risen definitely slowed in the past 15 years or so.

Scienfic American and other publications, citing the journal Science, reported in the past week on research indicating the slow down in the rate of temperature change has to do with natural cycles in the Pacific and Atlantic oceans.

The ocean cycles are called the Pacifc mulidecadel oscillation and the Atlantic multidecadal oscillation.  

These are a mouthful, but basically in the past decade or so, the Pacific Ocean has been cooling somewhat, due to these natural cycles. The Atlantic Ocean, in its cycle, has been warming, but the Pacific cooling outweighs the Atlantic's efforts, if you will.

The Pacific cooling acts as a drag on the rate at which the world overall warms. Perhaps had there been no man-made global climate change, the Earth would have been cooling somewhat over the past 15 years or so.

Cycles, by definition, eventually end. At some point, the Pacific multidecadel oscillation will shift into its warming phase. With or without human-caused climate change, when the Pacific goes into its warm phase, the Earth overall warms up slightly.

The concern among the scientists is, when the Pacific goes into its warm phase, it will team up with what us humans are doing and introduce a period of rapid warming across the globe

That kind of happened in the period from the 1970s to the late 1990s when the Pacific was in its warm phase. Previously, in the 1950s and 1960s, when the Pacific was in its cool phase, global temperatures barely warmed.

So when will the current cool Pacific phase end? The answer is pretty soon, we think.

Scientific American says Michael Mann, director of the Earth System Science Center at Pennsylvania State Univeristy, believes we're close to shifting into the warm phase in the Pacific, meaning the pace of global warming could accelerate in the next few years.

Researchers have not said precisely when the warm phase will begin, but since the phases last very roughly 20 years or so, the consensus seems to be the shift will come sometime between now and five years from now.

The reason for the lack of clarity over when things will shift is scientists still don't really fully understand what drives the phases, why they shift, and what triggers shifts.

Bob Henson at Weather Underground said signs in 2014 seemed to indicate the Pacific was shifting toward its warm phase, but that still could be a blip in the overall cool phase. Time will tell.

  

Alabama Officials: God Gave Us Coal. Maybe The Lord Wants Global Warming?

Chip Beeker said God gave
Alabama coal so it can do
anything it wants with it.  

Some Alabama officials have come up with the wackiest reasoning yet for continuing to extract coal, burn it and add to global warming:

God wants us to do it.

According to Al.com, an Alabama news site, some officials said the federal EPA's attempt to regulate coal emissions is against God's will, an affront to God, if you will.

Alabama Public Service Commission President Twinkle Andress Cavanaugh (love that name!) said the EPA is also taking away Alabama's way of life.

Here's the money quote from Al.com:

"At their news conference...Cavanaugh and PSC commissioner-elect Chip Beeker invoked the name of God in stating their opposition to the EPA proposal. 

Beeker, a Republican who is running unopposed for a PSC seat, said coal was created in Alabama by God, and the federal government should not enact policy that runs counter to God's plan.

'Who has the the right to take what God's given a state?' he said."

OK, I've got a few questions.

God wants us to burn coal and worsen global warming? Maybe God wants the second Great Flood? Paging Noah!!!

How does Beeker know God gave Alabama the coal?  Yes, it's there, but who's is it? What about the landowner where the coal is? What about the people, or the plants that will burn it?  Maybe God secretly gave the EPA control over the coal and didn't tell anybody else?  Did God specifically appoint Cavanaugh and Beeker to administer the coal He gave them? If so, where's the paperwork?

This hue and cry started when the EPA announced back in June it wanted to curb carbon emissions from coal in an effort to curb global warming.

In any event, Cavanaugh implored the fine citizens of Alabama to seek God's help. "I hope all the citizens of Alabama will be in prayer that the right thing will be done," she said.

Well, there's something Cavanaugh and I agree on. Although I doubt her idea of the "right thing" and mine match.

Climate Change Doesn't Exist Because Earth And Mars Temperatures Are Identical, Says Wacko "Politician"

Public officials now seem engaged in a competition on who can appear the most incredibly stupid when talking about climate change.

Vacationland in Mars? He says the Red Planet's
temperature is the same as ours and therefore
there is no global warming on Earth.
I don't follow it either.  

My nominee for the STOOPEDEST goes to Kentucky State Sen. Brandon Smith, a Republican, who said climate change caused by the burning of fossil fuel doesn't exist here on Earth because the temperature on the Earth and Mars are exactly the same.

Here's what he said: "I will simply point out that I think in academia we all agree that the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here. Nobody will dispute that."

Cue NASA, which, together with a zillion scientists, "disputes that." 

According to NASA, the average temperature on Earth is 57 degrees above zero, while the average temperature on Mars is 81 degrees below zero. 

Um, I think there's a wee bit of a temperature difference there.  But maybe I'm being too picky. The temperature difference between the two planets is only 138 degrees. It's just a rounding error. 

Maybe NASA is involved in some liberal plot to lie about the temperature on Mars? I wish I knew where our Esteemed State Senator got his information. I'd love to read more. Sounds fascinating. 

No matter what the temperature is on Mars (bundle up if you're headed up there!) I'm a little confused about how a weather report from Mars has to do with global warming on Earth.

I can't wait for another hearing for Brandon to enlighten us on that one. 

Our Esteemed State Senator from Kentucky goes on to say there are no mines on Mars, no factories on Mars, so that's another reason climate change doesn't exist on Earth.

Well, I give him this much. He's right that there are no mines or factories that we know of on Mars.  But just for fun, I'd like to know how the (alleged!) lack of factories on Mars tells us there is no climate change on Earth, which I can tell you does have factories. 

Since we're learning so much from Sen. Brandon Smith of Kentucky, I have a proposal. Since he's so interested in the weather on Mars, let's send him there!  He can verify there are indeed no factories up there.

And since the temperature is the same as ours, he'll be quite comfortable. 

The expected high temperature today in Frankfort, the capital of Kentucky, is 85 degrees. Since the temperature is the same on Mars, at least in our Esteemed State Senator's mind, all he has to do is pack shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops for his excursion to Mars. 

I wish him a warm, happy trip to the Red Planet. 

Florida Congressman Makes Silliest Climate Change Argument Yet

Congratulations this morning go out to Congressman Jeff Miller, R-Fla. who made the silliest argument to "prove" man made climate change doesn't exist.    

Florida Congressman Jeff Miller.  

In widely published comments, Miller noted the dinosaurs went extinct before we were all driving around in cars and otherwise burning fossil fuel, so therefore manmade climate change doesn't exist.

His point, I'm guessing, is there have been changes in the Earth's climate over the millenia (which is absolutely true).

So somehow, if there are natural changes in the climate, then there can't possibly be any changes caused by, or influenced by mankind.

Here's Miller's exact quote: "Then why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Were there men that were causing - were there cars running around at that point that were causing global warming? No." ......The climate has changed since Earth was created." 

Yeah, I don't get it either. The logic is kind of like, people didn't die in car accidents 500 years ago, so they can't die in car accidents today.

People have been yukking it up, saying how stupid Miller is for saying stuff like this but I dunno.

I honestly don't believe even he believes what he's saying. But Miller is probably under the thrall of the interests, like the Koch brothers, who don't want any restrictions on fossil fuels to offset climate change.

So he says ridiculous things like this, because there are at least a few dumb, or anti-intellectual voters out there who would fall for this sort of thing.

Worst Attempt At Debunking Climate Change Ever

Of all the weak arguments I've heard claiming that global climate change isn't happening, the worst came the other day from that, er, icon of scientific thought, televangelist Pat Robertson.

Pat Robertson said God had
a humorous editorial comment
on global warming politics.  

The other night, U.S. Senators, attempting to call attention to the issue, held a marathon overnight session highlighting the therat of climate change.

The next night, a cold front packing strong winds swept through Washington DC, briefly cutting power to the U.S. Capitol.

With that information, Robertson had everything figured out.

Take away, Pat!:

"Do you think God has a sense of humor? Well, I think he does. Let me tell you what happened. In the United States Capitol, Harry Reid, Barbara Boxer and the Democrats had an all night marathon advancing global warming. And they said we have to be in fear of global warming.

So God says, 'Harry and Barbara, you've got it all wrong.' He dropped the temperature 40 degrees, send so much wind that it knocked out the lights in the Capitol dome for the first time in years. And it's still cold! And the Lord is saying, 'Democrats, it isn't going to happen that way.' Isn't that fun? God has a sense of humor"

Yeah, God surely would take time out from His busy day to offer a political commentary about speeches by Harry Reid and Barbara Boxer.

And since it was windy and cold in Washington DC, on one night, regardless of the weather elsewhere on earth, global warming surely doesn't exist. Of course, then how do you explain the fact it was in the 70s in Washington early that day?

Oh yeah, weather. You know, warm fronts and cold fronts changing the temperature periodically, like they always do. But that's not nearly as fun an explanation as God yanking on Washington DC power lines.

Meanwhile, as I sit and write this in Vermont, it's breezy with normal temperatures. I have no idea what God is trying to tell me with that.

I guess God needs to make his signals from the heavens  little more clear to heathens like me.