Maybe She Shouldn't Have "Commanded" The Tornado To Go Elsewhere

Sabrina Lowe said she "commanded" God to divert
last weekend's tornado away from her house
If that's true it hit these dozens of houses
instead, destroying them. 

A woman named Sabrina Lowe of Rowlett, Texas is lucky in that one of those big Texas tornadoes last weekend just missed her house, and it's still standing, all good and secure.

But now, she's is - fairly or not - facing an even bigger tornado on social media for her comments to NPR.

I almost drove off the road while I was listening to NPR on the way to work the other morning. They interviewed her and she said this:  

"We actually went outside and started commanding the winds because God had given us authority over the winds - the airways. And we just began to command this storm not to hit our area. We - we spoke to the storm and said, 'go to unpopulated places.' It did exactly what we said to do because God gave us authority to do that."

I'm probably too cynical, but I have a lot of problems or questions about this quote.

First of all, you don't go outside when a tornado is approaching to "command the storm." Despite Lowe's heartfelt religious beliefs, the tornado missed because it just wasn't exactly on a path to her house.

I'm glad it wasn't. Because:

You could easily get killed by flying pieces of sheet metal, trees, and all sorts of fast moving debris while "commanding" a tornado to go away. Especially if the tornado isn't listening to you. Tornadoes never listen to you.

Too many people died in this tornado. We didn't need additional casualties.

Even if you believe God made it turn away from her house, why would He make it hit other houses? Like the 101 destroyed ones and 345 others damaged in Rowlett.

Lowe said she and her friends commanded the storm to go to unpopulated places. Which would have been great. I love it when tornadoes miss towns and cities and spin harmlessly over abandoned fields.

But, as noted, this tornado didn't exactly hit just unpopulated places. It mowed down what looked like what had been perfectly pleasant neighborhoods.

Maybe Lowe didn't think of this, but if she really had the power to tell God what to do with tornadoes, why didn't she tell him to make it just fall apart? Then nobody would have gotten hurt, and nobody's house would have gotten wrecked.

Plus, there's what? 7 billion or so people on the planet. Why would God give Lowe the power to divert tornadoes and nobody else gets that power?  I don't want to steal Lowe's thunder, but would God give me some lesser power to wield?  Something more modest than changing the course of EF4 tornadoes?

Like maybe melting the ice off my Vermont driveway after yesterday's snow/sleet/freezing drizzle storm? Just askin'

Of course, social media lit up after NPR aired Lowe's story about commanding the tornado. Most called her an idiot. Or worse.

To be honest, maybe we're being too hard on Lowe. Everybody, including Lowe, must have been scared to death as that tornado approached Rowlett and Garland. She might have just been acting out of fear.

Nobody is the most rational person in the world when they're terribly frightened.

Anyway, now that the tornado has destroyed a bunch of homes near Lowe's house maybe she can ask God to restore those wrecked houses to the way they were before the storm?

Or at least lets hope she's donating money, material or time to help those unfortunate tornado victims recover from this disaster.

Alabama Officials: God Gave Us Coal. Maybe The Lord Wants Global Warming?

Chip Beeker said God gave
Alabama coal so it can do
anything it wants with it.  

Some Alabama officials have come up with the wackiest reasoning yet for continuing to extract coal, burn it and add to global warming:

God wants us to do it.

According to Al.com, an Alabama news site, some officials said the federal EPA's attempt to regulate coal emissions is against God's will, an affront to God, if you will.

Alabama Public Service Commission President Twinkle Andress Cavanaugh (love that name!) said the EPA is also taking away Alabama's way of life.

Here's the money quote from Al.com:

"At their news conference...Cavanaugh and PSC commissioner-elect Chip Beeker invoked the name of God in stating their opposition to the EPA proposal. 

Beeker, a Republican who is running unopposed for a PSC seat, said coal was created in Alabama by God, and the federal government should not enact policy that runs counter to God's plan.

'Who has the the right to take what God's given a state?' he said."

OK, I've got a few questions.

God wants us to burn coal and worsen global warming? Maybe God wants the second Great Flood? Paging Noah!!!

How does Beeker know God gave Alabama the coal?  Yes, it's there, but who's is it? What about the landowner where the coal is? What about the people, or the plants that will burn it?  Maybe God secretly gave the EPA control over the coal and didn't tell anybody else?  Did God specifically appoint Cavanaugh and Beeker to administer the coal He gave them? If so, where's the paperwork?

This hue and cry started when the EPA announced back in June it wanted to curb carbon emissions from coal in an effort to curb global warming.

In any event, Cavanaugh implored the fine citizens of Alabama to seek God's help. "I hope all the citizens of Alabama will be in prayer that the right thing will be done," she said.

Well, there's something Cavanaugh and I agree on. Although I doubt her idea of the "right thing" and mine match.

Worst Attempt At Debunking Climate Change Ever

Of all the weak arguments I've heard claiming that global climate change isn't happening, the worst came the other day from that, er, icon of scientific thought, televangelist Pat Robertson.

Pat Robertson said God had
a humorous editorial comment
on global warming politics.  

The other night, U.S. Senators, attempting to call attention to the issue, held a marathon overnight session highlighting the therat of climate change.

The next night, a cold front packing strong winds swept through Washington DC, briefly cutting power to the U.S. Capitol.

With that information, Robertson had everything figured out.

Take away, Pat!:

"Do you think God has a sense of humor? Well, I think he does. Let me tell you what happened. In the United States Capitol, Harry Reid, Barbara Boxer and the Democrats had an all night marathon advancing global warming. And they said we have to be in fear of global warming.

So God says, 'Harry and Barbara, you've got it all wrong.' He dropped the temperature 40 degrees, send so much wind that it knocked out the lights in the Capitol dome for the first time in years. And it's still cold! And the Lord is saying, 'Democrats, it isn't going to happen that way.' Isn't that fun? God has a sense of humor"

Yeah, God surely would take time out from His busy day to offer a political commentary about speeches by Harry Reid and Barbara Boxer.

And since it was windy and cold in Washington DC, on one night, regardless of the weather elsewhere on earth, global warming surely doesn't exist. Of course, then how do you explain the fact it was in the 70s in Washington early that day?

Oh yeah, weather. You know, warm fronts and cold fronts changing the temperature periodically, like they always do. But that's not nearly as fun an explanation as God yanking on Washington DC power lines.

Meanwhile, as I sit and write this in Vermont, it's breezy with normal temperatures. I have no idea what God is trying to tell me with that.

I guess God needs to make his signals from the heavens  little more clear to heathens like me.